


Copenhagen Snow - Short Fics

by English_Pingviini



Series: Nordics [5]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 18:02:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12018138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/English_Pingviini/pseuds/English_Pingviini
Summary: It's winter in Copenhagen and winter in my heart.





	1. Copenhagen Snow 1

I walked along the path. The snow fluttered around me. There was always snow in Copenhagen at this time of year. I don’t know what I was doing here again. My breath steamed out in front of me and the world went by without me noticing. 

That’s when I heard it. That laugh.  _Your_ laugh. Quickly, I glanced over towards the sound and saw you in another’s arms. You looked happier with her. The bright smile on your face; the way you just seemed to hold yourself was different. 

She was talking to you about something that you were both animated about. I stood there- frozen. I couldn’t tear my gaze away. It’s only been a month but it felt so much longer. It felt like it had been centuries ago that I was holding your hand and laughing at one of your jokes. 

Now you look happier than you was with me. Sighing out, I left before you could notice I was there. There was no reason for me to be hanging around when we weren’t on speaking terms. 

* * *

_“You don’t fucking understand me!” I screamed. Your eyes looked hurt but your body showed rage. “Enlighten me then Sigurd. Fucking tell me.” you responded just a loud. I huffed. “You’re always out. You’re always texting someone else.” I responded bitterly. You clenched your jaw and stepped towards me._

_“Well maybe I don’t want you anymore! Is that what you want me to say? Maybe it’s because I’m meeting someone else.” you snapped as you finally cornered me. You were caging me like some sort of animal.  
_

_I pushed you away quickly and you stumbled backwards. I never meant that. “I hate you. I fucking hate you.” I snapped. I couldn’t stop the words from tumbling from my mouth no matter how hard I tried. They just seemed to be spilling out like all my feelings._

_We both just froze. Neither of us got physically involved with our fights. It was always smashing something or just making up in the middle of it. Now we were both standing in the quiet. “Tell me Sigurd… Do you really mean it?” you asked me, throat sore from all the yelling._

_I stayed quiet. I don’t know how to say that I didn’t mean it without it sounding venomous. “I’m going for a drink. Don’t wait up.” you had said to me. I swore I saw the tears glistening in your eyes and the quivering of your bottom lip._

_Since then there were no more smiles._

* * *

Sitting at the bar, I ordered myself another drink. Might as well drown out the memories while I can. I caught a glimpse of you out the corner of my eye. You entered the bar with  _her._ Your new fling. I thought you’d grieve a bit longer before moving on. 

She murmured something in your ear and you laughed heartily. God, that brings back memories. That smile was as twice as wide as the one you wore with me. 

* * *

_You had brought me out to the forest where it was all quiet. “Sigurd, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” you spoke to me quietly and held my hands in yours. There was no one but us._

_It was only me witnessing those blue eyes lighting up with love and that wide smile that was bashful at the same time as delighted._

_The twigs crunched under our feet as we walked. The silence was peaceful. I didn’t understand why you brought me here at first and then it dawned on me when you exposed what was behind your facade._

_This was your safe place. I was your special person that you decided to share your safe place with. I saw those crocodile tears rolling down your cheeks. I saw those clouded blue eyes full of sorrow that no man should carry. I understood it all. You felt the same as me._

_I held your hand and pulled you close. “It’s okay Magnus.” I murmured softly as I pulled you into a hug. There was nothing stopping those tears from overflowing again. “Please don’t cry.” I pleaded, it hurt me to see you cry._

_I didn’t stop until I saw that small smile._

* * *

I was selfish, I must admit. So utterly selfish that I forgot about your own pain and focused on mine. I hurt you so badly that night and I regret it so much. I didn’t blame you for moving on so quick. Probably to get rid of those awful memories that seemed like just the other day. 

I don’t know what happened to us. Why did we become so toxic towards each other? I thought we fit like puzzle pieces but apparently not. I was so much happier with you then than I was before I met you. You made me complete. 

I don’t think anyone needs you just like the way I do. She probably deserves you more than me. Someone who wasn’t as bitter. She was the someone that matched your personality and could lift you while you was feeling low. You use to brush me off. Tell me you were okay and I would leave you when you needed me the most. 

I smiled at my brother who asked me if I was okay. It was to hide the truth that I wasn’t okay. Not since you left anyway. As I write this letter, you’re probably off doing some amazing thing with your girlfriend. You look so much happier than me in all your photos. You looked like the perfect couple. It pained my heart to see those sparkling eyes so full of life. I guess you look so much happier without me. 

Though I felt so alive with you holding me to stop the pieces from falling apart. I’m still denying it Magnus but I’ll never let this secret spill out to you. At least not from my mouth. I’m so good at hiding what I feel that Eirikur now believes me. Though the news we had gotten was bad, he knew much more about me then I did myself. 

* * *

_I sat with you on the end of the pier. The sun was setting and cast a gentle glow upon the lake. Still the silence got to me. “Are you still mad at me Sigurd?” you asked staring at the water. I just grabbed your hand and squeezed it lightly._

_“No.” I responded and pulled you with me into the freezing water. You laughed brightly and pulled me into a kiss. I cradled your face with my hands and I could feel the smile on your face._

_You were so happy then. With me. With the idea of us. What happened Magnus? Why’d we drift so far from each other? I can’t reach you all the way from the opposite side of this lake we built between us. You don’t know how lucky I felt to be in your presence._

_One full of light and such a kind heart that it made me feel safe. It made me feel comforted._

* * *

Last month, I was sitting at that very pier. I felt as though I could still feel our love residing in those very waters. I guess that was just the memories that seemed to weave themselves into the air I breathed. Everywhere I looked. Everywhere I went, I was reminded of you. I nursed the empty bottle in my hands and thought of you. 

It was so simple to do. We could’ve just sat down and talked it all out but instead you called it quits. You told me how toxic I was and that if I ever considered about trying to get back together with you, I was to scrap that idea completely. 

As I’m writing this letter, just for you, I’m remembering so many things over the lifetime I knew you. I got to know every little quirk you did. The box like glasses you wore when you were reading. How invested you were in your performing arts and math when we were back in high school. We fell in love when we were kids I think. 

We explored together, we learned together, we stuck together. It was always we, us, our. It was never just me. It was never just you by yourself either. My Mother always used to tell me how we were like a pair of ducklings. Where one went, the other followed. Now I wished back on that night I pushed you, that I followed you and apologised. 

I didn’t mean what I said that day Magnus. I never did. I loved you with all my heart. You made me feel so much better. I’m still in love with you to this very day and I will never stop loving you. I’ll treasure every single memory I have of you. 

A coughing fit wracked my body. It’s much frailer now y’know. You can see the bones and how sickly I look. It’s really showing now. I don’t think I’ll be around much longer. At least not long enough to apologise to you face to face. 

Often, at night, I’d think of you and muse that we’d be better together in another lifetime. Where you and me would’ve learned the ropes of our relationship. Where we both felt at peace with each other. I’ll just keep dreaming of that time. At least until we meet in the next life. So when you read this, I’ll be but a whisper upon the winter breeze; a lone star in the night sky. 

Goodbye, my darling Magnus.   

_Yours,  
 Sigurd Sigurdsson_

_P.S. I’m still, so very much so, in love with you._

 


	2. Ending 1 of 2

Magnus sat at the computer his eyes watering and his heart aching. This fic was so sad. He didn’t know how to react. Should he start crying? Should he respond to this piece of writing with how he felt? He didn’t know what to do. 

A strangled sob left his throat as he attempted to cease his crying. It didn’t work. Tears leaked from his eyes as he trying to fathom the words to calm himself down. Pushing his chair back, he had many thoughts race through his mind. 

One kept coming back. It was how lost he would be if he didn’t have Sigurd in his life. Rushing through the door to his room and down to where Sigurd was peacefully reading, he picked up the slightly smaller man into a hug. 

He couldn’t stop crying. Sigurd placed his hands on Magnus’ shoulders and pushed the Dane away from him so he could see if the man was hurt. “Are you hurt?” asked Sigurd concerned for Magnus. His hands cradled the Dane’s face lightly. Searching for any signs of pain. All he could see were the tears clouding the Dane’s eyes. 

“Ja og nej.” sobbed Magnus. They sat cuddled together until Magnus could form a sentence without crying. Once seemed calm enough, Sigurd waited for an answer. “I.. I… Sigurd you…” he blubbered trying to get the words out but they seemed like they were stuck. Instead he pulled Sigurd up silently, more tears cascading down his cheeks. 

He led the Norwegian to his room and sat him down and waited for him to read all of it. It was a couple of minutes before Sigurd turned around in the chair and got up slowly. His eyes were full of tears too. “That fanfic needs to be burned.” he murmured voice wavering. 

They both embraced each other and let the tears go. Both vowing never to read it again. 


	3. Ending 2 of 2

Magnus read the letter over and over again. Tears flowing over his cheeks. This wasn’t his Sigurd. His Sigurd. He almost laughed. Sigurd hadn’t been his since many months ago. 

The first thing he forgot about Sigurd was those eyes that bore into him. He couldn’t remember the colour. The second was the way he held himself. Was Sigurd shy? Was he extroverted? He didn’t know anymore. The third thing he forgot was how his voice sounded. 

How did Sigurd pronounce his words? Was his accent airy and light or was it rough and thick. What about the tone? Deep or high? Was it gruff or smooth? Magnus gripped at his hair in an attempt to remember. 

This couldn’t be. He had to remember. It took him forever to try and remember something about Sigurd. Though nothing was clear. He didn’t know how he forgot about him so easily. Considering the guy was a big part of his life. 

Tears made their way down his face in steady rivulets. Magnus was shaking, his hands trembling as he clutched the letter to his chest. The only things he knew about this Sigurd was his name and that he wrote in cursive. There wasn’t much else he remembered about him. 

Pulling out his phone, he rang the only person he still kept ties with. “Hello?” asked a voice. Even he sounded so grown up. Had it really been that long? “Hello.” Magnus echoed the word with quivering sounds and a heavy tongue. 

“Where is he?” asked Magnus. His heart was aching and he was bouncing his knee in anxiety. “Is he… is he.. d…” he stumbled over his words. It felt as though someone had stuffed cotton in his mouth to stop him talking. The word that stuck in his throat was like a knife stabbing at his heart and scratching his throat until it hurt. 

“I’ll come pick you up.” was the only response he received. It wasn’t long before a male with sorrow filled eyes showed up. “Get in the car.” muttered the lad. His words were filled with an anger that Magnus didn’t know how to respond to. 

Getting in the car, he suffered a silence filled with a tension that made his hairs stand on end. The cars whizzed past them and they were pulling up to the large, white building. Getting out off the black car, he swallowed the lump in his throat. “Follow me.” remarked the younger of the two. 

“Eirikur…” he murmured loud enough for the other to hear him. Though his voice fell on ignorant ears. The cold air nipped at his skin as he was sprinkled with soft, white, flakes. He followed along until they both got inside. Immediately his scent was filled with the smell of cleaning products and nothing felt real. All this felt like a nightmare. It can’t be real. 

Through several halls they went before standing in an elevator for a few minutes. Still Eirikur did not utter a word to him. He lied in wait and in hope that he was not too late. The Icelander nodded to a few staff members. The quietness of this floor wriggled it’s way underneath the Dane’s skin. He didn’t like it. Not one bit. 

He followed Eirikur like a kicked puppy, until they both stopped outside a room. The curtains were drawn closed and a heavy feeling took place in his being. “He..” tried Eirikur before taking a deep breath. Obviously he was just as upset as the Dane about this. If not the same then more so than the Danish man. 

“My brother, has been like this for a year or two now. Suffering. Always in pain and I can’t do a thing about it. Sigurd reckons he’s just got a bad case of heartbreak. Though we both know it’s much worse. He was not expecting you at all. I had to make up that I needed to meet one of my friends to come and get you.” remarked Eirikur with a curled lip. Magnus felt the spite in the other man’s words. 

“They… the doctors, reckon he hasn’t got a lot of time left. Just… Be careful with him. He’s fragile now.” murmured the Icelander finally looking at the Dane. Those amethyst eyes were filled with pain. Magnus couldn’t, no, wouldn’t ever understand what it was like for a brother to watch his sibling go through all of this.

Stepping into the room, nothing could’ve prepared him for what he saw. Sigurd, his darling Sigurd lay bedridden and looking nothing like he remembered. Or as he tried to remember. Some parts were vague now but he still didn’t know a lot. 

The figure in the bed was skinny, smooth bumps of bone poking up from underneath the sallow skin. “Magnus.” greeted Sigurd. His voice. So that’s what it sounded like. Smooth, deep, musical. In a brief step, he sat next to Sigurd and took the Norwegian’s hand in his. The bony fingers felt cold as he held the tight. 

He tried to ignore the machines in the room, the wires hooked up to… Sigurd. He scolded himself for he was going to say that Sigurd was his lover. He hasn’t been for two years. “You came.” Sigurd murmured. The happy sound in his voice made Magnus break a little inside. It felt so odd to hear such a thing. Such a joyous thing that you’d say to someone who you invited out. Not one who had come to your hospital bed on a whim. 

His voice didn’t sound weak. Just quiet. His eyes were losing their glimmer, the blond hair so lacklustre. Pale, cracked lips and sunken eyes. Magnus bit back the smart remark about being so peppy when he was so ill but thought better of it. Moving his other hand up to brush some of Sigurd’s hair from his face, he smiled a wavering smile. “Yeah…” he whispered. 

It was nice to see the small smile on those lips. Magnus knew he wanted to say something but he didn’t know what. What do you say to a person who’s life could end in a matter of minutes. He choked out a sob and buried his head in the hospital sheets as tears resurfaced and many old memories along with them. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry Sig…” cried out Magnus. His shoulders shook and he couldn’t stop the tears. 

“I should’ve let you talk. I should’ve listened to you. I’m a fool.” whined Magnus. Sigurd sighed. “Should haves and could haves do not belong on your lips. We were young, we were foolish. It was bound to happen sometime or later.” murmured Sigurd. Magnus locked gazes with him. 

“I forgave you the moment I saw you smiling.” Sigurd breathed. Suddenly he coughed, the movement shaking his whole body. You could clearly hear the rattling of his chest. Magnus’ bottom lip quivered while he fought back tears. Still, he was at a loss for words. Unable to speak to a dying man. 

So he tried to think of something to say. Anything but his mind was blank. “What’s it like out there?” asked Sigurd. The weather. “Snowing.” responded Magnus shortly. His voice was quiet. It wasn’t like the normal bouncy, happy tone. It held misery, regret and thickened with his accent. 

Sigurd chuckled. Magnus smiled at this. The Norwegian was like this. Finding something to laugh about when things got awkward. That’s what Magnus admired about him. “What?” asked Magnus. “Remember when we first met? After you moved away?” asked Sigurd with smiling eyes and a small grin. 

Magnus nodded still keeping that cold hand in his. “It was snowing then too.” stated Sigurd. Magnus thought back. Indeed it was. “You slipped on the ice and I caught you. The first thing I noticed about you was that you were unbelievably handsome.” Magnus told the Norwegian as he reminisced. A far away look in his eyes as he focused on nothing. 

“The first thing you told me was that I had eyes like sapphires.” said Sigurd with a tone full of laughter. “It’s true though. You still do. Your eyes are so pretty Sigurd.” Magnus defended the compliment from years back. 

Silence fell upon them again. Sigurd blinked slowly trying to re-focus his eyes. A yawn escaped him. “Is it painful?” asked Magnus trying to keep Sigurd awake. “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t. Other days it’s worse than it is. You somehow managed to soothe it a little.” mumbled Sigurd entwining his fingers with Magnus’. It didn’t go unnoticed by the Dane. In fact he squeezed lightly to show reassurance. 

“Kiss me. Please.” Sigurd pleaded. He looked tired. Older and tired and.. Magnus didn’t dare think of it. He couldn’t bear to think of it. “Okay…” he whispered so quietly that he was afraid Sigurd didn’t hear it. He rose from his chair and leaned forward leaving a gap between his face and Sigurd’s. 

Why was he hesitating? Pressing his lips to the Norwegian’s, he let Sigurd have his wish. A proper kiss, not just a small peck. Magnus pulled away and sat down again. “Thank you.” whispered Sigurd who didn’t wipe that smile off of his face. A love stricken smile. One he used to see on the other man so regularly. 

Eirikur came back in when Magnus looked over, he moved slowly to the other side of Sigurd. “Eirikur, I’m tired.” murmured Sigurd sleepily. His eyes were phasing between focused and unfocused and his breathing was slowing. 

Eirikur shared a glance with Magnus. A knowing glance that affirmed the things they both dreaded. “What can I do for you to make it comfier big brother?” asked Eirikur. Sigurd sighed. “Sing for me. That’s all I would like.” he responded. Both the other males knew that Sigurd was unaware of what was happening. Especially why he was feeling sleepy all of a sudden. 

“Okay.” murmured Eirikur with a soft smile and he held Sigurd’s other hand. He sang. The notes falling from his lips were soothing but filled with so much pain. Sigurd listened until Eirikur was finished. 

“Thank you Eirikur. I love you. Both of you.” he remarked still sounding so sleepy. Eirikur was the only one who could speak from the two of them. “You can go to sleep now. I love you Sigurd.” he said and waited for the worst to finally wash over them. Sigurd closed his eyes and took one last breath. Everything was too loud. The flat lining of the heart monitor, the ticking of the clock and the sounds from outside the room. 

Magnus got up and pressed a lingering kiss to Sigurd’s forehead as a tear dripped down onto the Norwegian’s snowy cheeks. He stood and look over to Eirikur who was now on the same side as him and held his arms open. The Icelander didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Magnus and seek comfort as the tears fell from his eyes. “You don’t have to be tough kiddo. You can let it all out, I’ve got you.” whispered the Dane. Magnus stared outside the window as he listened to the sobs. It all hit him hard. 

Both of them lost a piece of home and still snow fluttered down upon Copenhagen.


End file.
